Arrival and Beginning a New Era

We arrived home Saturday night!






It was great to be home. It was also painful to come home and feel Mary Evelyn's absence throughout the house, but that is my reality and I'm lucky to have had two wild boys shooting each other with nerf guns and pretending to slash each other with pirate swords all while wearing matching pj's to offset how hard it was for me that night to have sweet Nadia move into Mary Evelyn's bedroom.

The next day we went to church and Nicholas Ruslan was an altar server for the first time. He stands very straight and quietly like a soldier in church so he is an natural altar server. The Russian speaking women in our church put their arms around Nadia and welcomed her especially warmly. It was a joy to watch her giggling at lunch and chattering away in her native language with new friends.

That afternoon I invited some family members over for waffles, whipped cream and berries. I brought out Mary Evelyn's Hello Kitty waffle iron along with then plain round one and had fun making a nice party out of it. The kids enjoyed meeting everyone and since it was a smaller crowd and an informal fun meal they were less intimated than they might have been otherwise.

Before our guests came, I had the kids busily cleaning. The boys swept the downstairs and Nadia vacuumed the upstairs. Nadia always helps me with dishes and cooking and the boys set tables, take out the trash and walk the dog. Today I plan to create chore charts.

On Monday, after dropping Andrew off at his school, we started homeschooling. I wanted to establish a routine right away so even though I don't have a set curriculum yet, I started with a little writing and gave them free math placement tests I found online. It was a a little scary to see the results, but they are both smart and will catch on.

We went to the teacher supply store together and purchased simple  practce writing ABC's books, a writing notebook and sight word puzzle books for them to get started. We start each day with a prayer and then a brain teaser. They already know some of our letters so I'm doing 3 letters a day, both cursive and print, and working on phonics, sight words and English vocabulary. I'm also having them read in Ukrainian for 1/2 hour and then write about what they read each day. There were big sighs and long face about that. I warned them that I will have my Ukrainian friends read what they write later so don't just jot down something crazy!

I saw that they both needed practice with adding with regrouping so I showed them how to do that this morning and they got it right away. I hope most things are this easy.

I've already scheduled doctor and dentist appointments for them and tomorrow we go to a class at the library. They'll get to use the Rosetta Stone ESL program for 2 hours.We should be able to go every day if we want to. The next thing I want to set up is a sport for each of them. Nicholas may be able to join Andrew's baseball team but I don't know what Nadia is interested in yet.

It's much easier to know what to do since I've adopted before. I feel much more competent and organized even though this is a more challenging dynamic on some ways. Of course, last summer I felt like a train wreck so this had to be easier than that!

Yesterday, they got to meet Miss Cindy. We had a lot of fun together. She let each of them drive the golf cart. Andrew was kind of slow and careful becasue he wanted to do the right thing and not wreck, but the other two were fast and wild. Oh MY! It will be interesting around here.

The kids are all very happy and it's amazing to watch their confidence and affection for us grow each day. I was telling Mark that I only wished Mary Evelyn could be physically present with us now to have fun with her new siblings, and he reminded me that she's busy where she is and we'll all be together someday in the life that lasts forever.

These days are  a great start to an new era in our fast moving, blink and it's gone, life on earth.


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Kiev and Traveling Home!

We wanted the kids to get to see Kyiv while they had the chance so we spent time walking around the city with them on Thursday and Friday. The first site we visited in Kyiv on Friday evening was St. Michael's church. Vespers was in progress so we were able to hear the beautiful chanters. After spending some time there, we walked to Puzatta-Hatta (Ukrainian Piccadilly ) for dinner. On the way back to the apartment, wet fluffy snow fell on us and melted on the pavement which was a slushy mess. Why do I never remember to have an umbrella here?



We were ready before 8:30 Friday morning to drive over to the American Embassy for the Visas. It was an easy process and soon we were back in the apartment. We were all tired so we rested and played UNO while waiting to pay the landlady.

One advantage to adopting teenagers instead of little kids is they can amuse themselves and they have lots of independent skills. They also want to be helpful and insist upon carrying things, opening doors and even doing the dishes! While we waited, we used Google translate to talk about our plans for the day and it was nice that they can easily type what they want to say to us.of course, there are also new challenges with teenagers so our current strategy is to be firm and loving from the get go.

After the landlady came by, we walked over in a misty rain to Saint Sophia Church, built in the 1100's and sort of a centerpiece of Kiev. We climbed the windy narrow staircase up the bell tower.



Part of the stairs are completely dark and that adds to the sense of mystery and danger. I mean you can't see your feet dark. Luckily, that part is short. There are three landings with windows on each side giving beautiful view of the city and distant countryside. On the first landing we saw the huge bells that we've heard so many times in this city.



Nicholas stayed put on the first landing because the upper part made him nervous. Would you climb up this?



Nadia, Mark and I kept going. On the second landing, I saw a Kopeck from heaven shining on a windowsill and that made me smile. Kopecks from heaven make me feel closer to my sweet Mary Evelyn.


Unfortunately, Nicholas had the camera so we didn't get photos from the very top, but the ones from the first landing are beautiful and the view was fairly clear since the rain had stopped.



After visiting the church, we had some pent up energy and indulged in a quick family snowball fight.




As we left, Nicholas climbed back up the tower and made it to the second landing this time. We were proud of him!

We were hungry then so we walked over to the Golden Gate, the original city gate, and had lunch at the Irish Pub across the street. We think Nicholas was put off by the way the food on his plate was all in a pile, but he ate most of it anyway.




We had a nice lunch. Mark and I were grateful for the English language menu and the kids got to have Ukrainian menus so we were all able to order easily.

Refreshed, we walked over to Saint Vladimir's statue where the kids posed in true Ukrainian tourist style.



We ended our tour of Kiev with Saint Vladimir's church, another beautiful old church that was turned into a museum of atheism under the communists, but is a church again now. After seeing the historic sights and churches, we went shopping in the underground malls down by Independence Square. We found the bookstore we took Andrew to and told each child to chose one book in Russian and one movie. Neither was too excited about the book, but I want them to keep up their ability to read Cyrillic. Nadia was especially reluctant to choose a book. I threatened to buy her the longest, most boring book in the store (complete with an old man on the cover) and make her read it, so she decided to find a book she is willing to read.

We finished out sightseeing with a stop at a coffee shop where I nibbled my way through a dry and somewhat tasteless chocolate cake which helped me get even more homesick for America, but anyway it was fun to relax together.




After walking for hours we were all tired so we got to bed much earlier. Just as we finished evening prayer together, we heard the church bells pealing in the distance and it felt like they were adding their "amen!"

The kids giggled in the dark for a long time, but finally fell asleep by about 9:00 which was good because we left for the airport at 3:30 am. We flew to Frankfurt at 5:30 and arrived at 8:30. This flight was at 12:35. We're flying over the Atlantic while I'm writing this, but will be home before I post it. This is an 11 hour flight. When I get home I won't want write anything. I think I'll just want to sleep in my own bed!

The kids are happier and more relaxed each day. Serious seeming Nicholas turns out to be very funny and a little bit of a ladies man- he quietly notices the pretty teenage girls we pass on the street. Reserved, shy Nadia wants to walk arm in arm with me everywhere and is eager to please. They obviously love having parents. It is very sweet to see how love transforms children so quickly. Maybe God's love does the same with us over time.

This has been a tiring but wonderful week. Somehow, I've been fairly calm and even happy this week. I think God has blessed me with peace of mind which I greatly needed. Dealing with Mary Evelyn's cancer, death, the loss of her earthly presence and then these adoptions so soon afterwards has just about made me crazy. I hope we have some quieter years ahead as we live our lives and wait for our reunion with Mary Evelyn.





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Gotcha and broughtcha to Kiev!

Tuesday was a busy day. We picked up the kids and a teacher at 7:00 am and drove 2 hours to their hometown, which is a city larger than Macon, to get documents: birth certificates with their new names, an internal passport for Nadia since she's 16 and other things. As we waited for the birth certificates, their biological mom walked by the car.

Ruslan asked if he could speak to her. What could we do, say no? Maybe we should've but it seemed awkward to say that when he is not likely to ever see her again and we don't want him to resent us saying that later in life. So he ran up to her. She didn't hug or smile. He came back within one minute and Nadia went over to her. They talked for a long time and I still don't know much that was said but finally the teacher got Nadia back in the van and we left.

That experience added stress to everyone's day.we had lots of documents to get in a hurry. Luda was able to accomplish a lot and at the end of it we drove back to the school knowing we had most of what we needed and could leave the next day for Kiev.

Back at the school, we had tea with the Director and discussed many things. We are comfortable with him now and it seems his heart is open to the idea of adoption.

We went to bed late and didn't have time to update you guys!

In the morning on Wednesday, we had to be ready to leave at 7:45. We picked up a regional children's services worker and drove to the school to pick up the children for the last time. There was a lot of hustle and bustle around the school. We saw a small band setting up for a performance and wondered what the special occasion was.

The Director greeted us warmly. He hugged the kids and spoke to each of them, exhorting them to have a great life and be good children for us. He gave each of them a prayer book in Ukrainian. Then we signed papers and went downstairs to leave.

The whole school was assembled to say farewell to Nadia and Ruslan. Nadia spoke in front of everyone calmly and told them she is grateful for her time there and for the opportunities she had at the school.



I was very impressed with her maturity. The Director also spoke and then the band played three songs for us! I gazed around the room and looked at the faces of these kids and wished they all had loving parents. Luda spoke at the end and encouraged them to make the most of their opportunities and to take responsibility for their own lives. Even though they have been disappointed by their parents, they can build a good life and be better parents themselves someday. She told them that they have a wonderful school, the best in Ukraine and that is partly because they are great kids.

I was almost crying by the time the assembly was over and everyone was hugging goodbye. I saw Edick then for the first time on this trip as he sadly brushed by me quickly to say goodbye to Ruslan. He is not on the list for adoption yet, but will be soon, and I think our hands are full right now anyway but maybe someone else will think about it?

As we drove off to finish getting documents in their hometown, Mark told the kids that this was a new start for them--they can leave the past behind and become who they want to be. They were very happy!

Getting documents sounds so dry and uneventful, but the experience is not. Each document requires previous documents that may or not be ready, notarized or even available that day. There is constant stress and not many food or bathroom breaks on these long days, but in the end it's worth it because it means we get to go home and start that new life sooner.

After lunch, we finished up the documents and started the 8 hour drive back to Kiev. Along the way, I let the kids take photos of the countryside out of the van window. Andrew took about a billion and wore out the battery when we got him, but these kids planned out their photos and took about 15 total. Interesting to see their personalities starting to unfold. They are both thoughtful and caring. Andrew is too, but he is less deliberate, has a huge outgoing personality and is much younger!

When we arrived in Kiev late Wednesday evening, we settled into an apartment near St. Michael's. I finally got to show Nadia the cute boots and clothes we got for her along with the cosmetic case Cindy got her. She was very grateful and happy. She was not allowed to wear jeans at the school and was glad to pick out cute jeans, a shirt and a green hoodie for tomorrow. Ruslan also liked his clothes and things but being a boy, it wasn't as exciting for him. The kids both look much more American in their new clothes.



Today we had our first appointment at the American Embassy to get their visas for entering our country. I had filled out the paperwork last night and had the fee in exact change ready in an envelope so it went very smoothly. We also went to the American medical center for checkups and vaccination records. This afternoon we were all tired and wanted to rest before heading out to see a little of chilly wet Kiev.

Tomorrow we finish at the embassy (2nd appointment) and can go home Saturday if flights are available!


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It's official! we have five kids!

After arriving in Kiev yesterday, we had a nice lunch at Luda's apartment before climbing into Leo's van for the long drive to Kovel. The sunset lingered on the glowing snow as we passed throughout the quiet countryside and I felt peaceful.



We checked into our hotel and moved into the room we lived in last May. We were hungry, so we went to the attached restaurant. I was a little put off by the loud music of the dance party going on, but after a few sips of beer and a little adjustment, I decided it was fun. After lying in bed listening to the party so many nights, it was great to be there for a change and see what a nice, happy crowd was down there dancing.

Grief is always just a moment away for me and is sometimes brought on by the silliest things. There were music videos playing on the tv's at the
party and I saw a commercial for fabric softener in which a little girl hugs a cloud (because it's soft like mama's laundry) and then, standing in the clouds, hugs her mother. The cloud hugging girl brought me to subtle tears and, as we left, I hugged Mark. As he let go, he found a shiny 5 kopek on the floor- a penny from heaven. I got my "hug in the clouds" too.

We went up to our room feeling like we were in God's hands, which was good because when I opened my e-mail moments later we found out that Thomas was in the hospital with a heart problem. As I toyed with the very tempting complete meltdown lying there saying "Take me, I'm yours"' Mark strongly exhorted me to see the news as a temptation and not to fall for it. He means well, but his pep talks unfortunately don't always translate so well into "woman". As I attempted to stay calm and keep my trust in God's care for us, we called various relatives and found it was OK. He is home now and should be fine but it was hard to be far away when I wanted to be there.

After talking to Thomas himself, we went to sleep and slept too long. We both took sleeping pills and woke up groggy and moving slow. We were too late for breakfast but snacked in the room before heading out for paperwork errands. We were excited to get the final court decree today so it is official! We now have five children: Thomas, Nadia Leonora, Nicholas Ruslan, Andrew and our angel in heaven Mary Evelyn.

After getting a quick snack for lunch, we went to see our kids. Nadia's face glowed with happiness when she saw us and my spirits, which had been in upheaval since the e-mail about Thomas, were calm. I was so happy to see our kids and we had a great visit with them. They are both relaxed and happy with us and excited about their new family.






Tomorrow we have a lot of documents to prepare. Please pray that it goes smoothly and we get the old style passports so we can come soon!


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Third time's the charm!

My house is clean, my plants are watered, the kids' bedrooms are prepared, the suitcases are packed, my checklist is accomplished and the last trip is begun! Mark and I are waiting to board our third flight to Franfurt. Tomorrow morning, we'll fly to Kiev before driving to Kovel early Monday morning to get the kids!

On Monday, we'll pick up the court papers and bring them to the orphanage. I think that Nadia will go with us to get her Ukrainian internal passport ( needed for kids 16+) before we get birth certificates and new international passports for both kids.

We hope to find "old style" passports for them because you can get them the same day instead of waiting several days for a new style one. Once we have the papers, birth certificates and passports, we say bye bye to the orphanage and drive to Kiev.

In Kiev, we'll have a few appointments including one at the American embassy before flying home. It should take a few days to do the paperwork in Kiev and we will have a chance to show Nadia and Ruslan the beautiful churches and other sights of historic Kiev.

Andrew is staying with uncle Ray and aunt Janice while we're gone. He's excited about his fun week. Hope (our dog) and Redcat are staying with Thomas and Hope is very excited about having a fenced in backyard. Red cat hates being home alone. Every time we return from a trip he cries and cries for hours to let us know how much he missed us, even with our wonderful cat sitter giving him wet food each day so we decided to relocate him to Thomas' house. He loves Thomas. So far, he's hiding, but not crying!

Thanks for your many prayers and help! We hope this will be a short and joyous trip.

Planes, shuttle busses, and running through airports.....

The flight from Kiev to Frankfurt finally took off at 10:00 instead of 5:30 am. It was -28C and they couldn't de-ice the plane until the sun rose and it warmed up to -23. It was cold even in the airport and I wore Mark's down coat to be snuggly. We treated ourselves to coffee and cake for breakfast while we waited. Treated is not the word, I should say allowed ourselves to be robbed in exchange for coffee and cake because it cost about $24.



As we waited, the lack of sleep wore on me and my emotions fell apart. All my fears and insecurities swirled in my head like a nightmare. Lack of sleep, high emotions and change also bring out grief feelings so dear Mark had to keep talking me off my emotional cliffs.



I was relieved to be on the plane at 10:00 and tried to sleep a little during the flight. We arrived in Franfurt at 12:10 and our connecting flight home was at 12:25. The Franfurt airport is big and we had to walk down long deserted hallways broken up by those smelly smoking rooms. The hallways twist and turn in ways that didn't make sense intuitively until I saw the airport map and realized it's shaped a little like a tinkertoy.



We missed our flight, but were rebooked on an Air France flight to Paris and then Delta to Atlanta. We rushed back through more elevators,Long empty twisty hallways that look wrong and a shuttle train until we reached security again.



Every connecting flight means going through security twice- once when you get off and then again to get back on. I started to enjoy seeing Mark get flagged for frisking. It happened almost every time to him after we left Atlanta. I only got frisked three times. No one frisks as invasively as the Atlanta people so Mark's 10 frisks < my Atlanta frisk. Anyway we got on the flight. After landing in Paris, we rushed again to get our connecting flight. It was the prettiest airport of our trip.
I wanted to skip out and and go to Disneyland Paris but Mark said no.




By the time we were flying to Atlanta, I was so tired I was almost weeping with exhaustion.

I took my mind off everything by watching a cute movie (the big year) and Mark read one of my books.



He was reading about how if we have hope against hope (no that is not where my other blog's name came from) we learn to persevere though our trials and achieve peace and love. Having hope/ faith/trust when it feels like there is no hope gives us a way to conquer death itself....



All those thoughts are too much for me to even write about with my jet lag and time change but it is a beautiful, and very long book. Every now and then, we'd talk about things he was reading about and I'd feel encouraged.



We eventually landed and got home where Red Cat was crying pitifully. He hates it when we're gone. He cried for over an hour last night and after snuggling with us, started crying again this morning. He seems to be missing Andrew and Hope because he wanders around the house crying.



We'll have about ten days of normal life before flying back to Ukraine, picking up lots of paperwork and passports and getting the kids. It is a beautiful thing to see how the few small seeds of love we've sown in them have already produced such love in return, and have given them such joy and hope. Ruslan/Nicholas (got to start making that switch!) seems to have undiluted optimism and confidence (we love it that we've given him such certainty to have said in court, boldly and with smiles in our direction,"I know they love me very much, and I love them.") Nadia, while clearly hopeful and happy and very hungry for parents' love, is a little scared too. We're looking forward to watching the beautiful transformation continue to unfold, in them and in us!

Court Day

It's 5 am and I'm updating from the airport in Kiev. We flying home this morning, just me and Mark, after having court yesterday.

Nadia and Ruslan's parents made a complaint, but since they lost custody years ago it had no impact. Their sister called Nadia the night before court and asked if she and Ruslan wanted her to comolain too, but when they assured her they want to be adopted, she told them she wants to stay in touch and kind of said she's happy for them -glad at least that they have great opportunities.

The court was a little scary at first. There was the judge,a secretary who recorded everything, two members of a jury, two teachers from the school, the local child services representative and a prosecutor representing the parents because they had complained.Luda was helping us and translated for us. Each of the kids had to stand up and say they wanted to be adopted by us and why. Ruslan was beaming with joy as he said he loved us and knew we loved him. Nadia was a little more nervous but did fine. The court was mostly concerned about Nadia because of her age so we had to explain how we plan to help Nadia get through school. I guess time and attention is the answer.I told them that I plan to start with homeschooling and that I expect she will finish high school by the time she is 20 and then, depending on how she has done, she could go to trade school or possibly college. I was glad that they had Nadia herself express that she understands and accepts the challenges and opportunities that lie before her.

I think the little photo book of our house and family warmed their hearts and it turned out well. After granting us custody, which takes place in ten days, the judge invited us, Luda and the jury to her chambers for coffee and chocolate.

One of the jurors is an English teacher and it turned out that we met her star pupil, Sophie, last summer in Kovel. Sophie is the daughter of the priest who was so kind to us. How amazing is that?

After court we went out for lunch with the kids, the two teachers from the orphanage who accompanied us to court, Luda and Leo. It was Ruslan's first time to eat in a restaurant and he made the most of it. I enjoyed watching him savor every bite of an enormous dish of ice cream after his meal.

After lunch we dropped the kids off at the orphanage and drove back to Kiev. The roads were mostly clear but sometimes they were coated with thick snowy ice. It's very cold here. I was glad I changed out if my court clothes and into jeans with long underwear under my sweater (yes I changed in the van on the street).


Oops, our plane was just delayed because of ice. It's -7 degrees outside. Hope we make it it to Frankfurt on time for the connecting flight.

I'm ready to get home. Adopting is a great thing but I feel overwrought and emotionally and physically exhausted. Looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.

Ps Andrew has been having lots of fun while we've been gone. Glad he adjusts so easily to everything.

Feb 6th

Had a long, long drive this morning through countryside that looked like this:





And this:




Then a nice visit with the kids. We worked on English for a while.They tried on some new clothes we brought and seemed to feel a lot happier and more at ease:


Court is tomorrow. After court we'll go out for lunch with the kids before dropping them back at the orphanage for the waiting period. We'll drive back to Kiev and catch our flight home Wednesday morning.

Ruslan looks funny in the photos because he has purple medicine on a rash on his face. Ruslan is small for his age-he's just a little bigger than Mary Evelyn was and is four years older and never had cancer.I'm sure he'll grow once he has a home. This is the happiest I've seen them.

We also saw sad little Edjick. We brought gloves for him since he didn't have any. The kids said he tried to run away last week. So sad to think of the little guy trying to run away especially in this weather.



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Feb 5 th

A sleeping pill, taken after dinner on the flight, was a great way to adjust to the time change. Mark slept very well, I was still a little fretful, but the flight went by quickly and suddenly we were in Munich.
As we searched for the next gate, we walked by a big fashion advertisement. As I gazed blearily at the enormous models, I suddenly realized I was seeing double. I looked around and sure enough, people were overlapping themselves in my vision. It was unsettling.
Our gate was quiet so I laid down on a few chairs and slept for the next three hours. When I woke , it was crowded but only with people who were really there- no more double vision.
Mark took me to get a nice breakfast, complete with a huge cappuccino, and I was back to normal and less tired than on the other trips.


Whe we arrived in Kiev I felt almost native.I recognized the passport control man from the last trip and a policewoman spoke to me in Ukrainian. I was very flattered at being mistaken for a Ukrainian woman because they are all beautiful. We went through the airport with no problems which is more than I can say about leaving Atlanta because I got pulled out of line and frisked invasively there. I knew it wasn't a big deal in the sense that I'm innocent and it could happen to anyone,  but it still almost made me cry from being in the situation where a stranger can touch you in places strangers should never touch you and  in a such public place.  
It was nice to breeze through Kiev. Leo was there to greet us and then we had a welcoming dinner with our translators. We are blessed to have become friends with them. Tomorrow we'll head out at 4:45 am to drive through the frozen countryside to Kovel. It's a six hour drive and may take a little longer since it's been especially cold and snowy in Ukraine and eastern Europe this past week. Today was warmer: a high of -8. Tomorrow is expected to be a high of -21.brrrrr.

We're looking forward to arriving in Kovel and seeing our kids.

On Our Way Again...

Mark and I are waiting in Charlotte for our flight to Munich and then Kiev. This is our second trip to Ukraine this go-round, third trip including last year. We'll arrive tomorrow, drive out to Kovel on Monday and visit the kids, go to court on Tuesday, drive back to Kiev Tuesday evening and fly home early Wednesday. Andrew is staying with family and friends while we're away and he's excited about his own adventure. 

You'd be surprised at how long it took me to pack. Our biggest suitcase is loaded with clothing for the kids to try on. I have jeans in three sizes for Nadia  and other outfits for both of them. The clothes can stay at our facilitator's apartment until we come back at the end of Feb. to get the kids. I spent too long on that yesterday. Last night I was stressed out about all the changes in my life and feeling unprepared about going back so soon so I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned so much the dog jumped off the bed and slept somewhere else.

Mark helped me cheer up this morning with delicious Lagnapes donuts for breakfast and the sugar rush  helped me rush around getting my own things stuffed hurriedly in my bag.

As we left the house, I was still remembering  important things that I'd forgotten to take care of like arranging for a cat sitter, bringing chargers, and some cash. We took a minute to stop at CVS and pick up a little heart shaped box of Valentine candy for each of the kids and got on the plane without any other delays.

I've got my sleeping pill ready to go and hope to arrive in Munich fresh as a daisy, ready for the next adventure.