Our family life is getting to be more routine now that we've had Andrew for a year and Nicholas and Nadia for four months. Honestly, the kids have made a remarkably smooth adjustment considering they've had to get used to a new family, new names, a foreign language, new foods, different type of schooling, new culture and a home life that they'd never even dreamed existed before.
Nick is so happy that he can hardly contain his excitement. He moves fast, learns fast, tries hard to please and is incredibly silly. He keeps us laughing with his dramatic faces and quick witted sense of humor. Mark bought him red boxing gloves and Nick likes to say," I have three words for you: jab jab hook!" That may sound scary, but it's not- he has a great sense of humor. He can already pick up on fairly nuanced jokes in English. Nadia said that in Ukraine he wasn't this crazy and excited, so it must be just joy spilling over and making him seem a little over the top. Thankfully, he can reign himself in when asked to and tries hard to please us at all times. I can see he loves his new family very much and wants to build a new, better life.
Andrew is also happy and growing fast. He still eats like his food is going to run off his plate, but he seems very comfy in his life. The two boys have lots of fun together and love to be outside. They made their own bow and arrows sets out of string and long sticks but so far no one has gotten hurt. Andrew is sensitive to other people and has an innate compassion that touches everyone he meets. He plans to become a fireman when he grows up and live near us so we can babysit his kids someday. He says he'll name them Mark, Edna, Thomas, Ray and maybe Jacob. Good plan!
Nadia is becoming sweeter and happier as she lets herself open up and enjoy her life here. She is learning English much more quickly now and we can have real conversations. We all watched the Sound of Music last weekend and she was singing " I am 16, going on 17" today in the pool, and simply looked so happy it amazed us. She spent the night with a girlfriend for two nights this week we saw her confidence grow with that experience, but it was also nice to see how happy she was to be back home.
School's out for the summer, but my kids are still studying for a few hours a day. I'm using a wonderful phonics curriculum called The Logic of English. I'm a veteran teacher and think it's the most comprehensive and intelligently designed program I've ever seen for teaching older kids or adults. It works very well for my ESL kids. In the month I've used it, I've seen impressive progress.
They are still doing Teaching Textbooks math. Nick can now do four lessons in about 25 minutes with an accuracy of 95%. He still gets challenged enough by the word problems and math vocabulary so I'm keeping him on the fourth grade level, but he'll finish that in a few weeks and be ready to fly through fifth grade. I'm hopeful that in six months he'll be ready for age appropriate math!The other two are also making good progress.
In addition to school we go the library for Rosetta Stone ESL and the story/ art times. Both boys are intent on completing the summer reading program at the library and they all like to check out books. The library is so close to us that they can walk there by themselves sometimes. Last week, I sent the boys to the nearby bakery afterwards to buy German bread and then to the farm stand, next door to the bakery, to buy tomatoes. They completed their adventure by stopping by a car show that was also in our town square. They were proud of their excursion and able to converse in English about the things they needed to purchase and more importantly to them- about the muscle cars!
Both boys love muscles cars and have a running contest to see who can see the most Mustangs. They likes Camaros also, but they love Mustangs. They're impressed because I used to own a red Mustang and they were jealous when I described driving it to California and back on a long vacation with their brother Thomas when he was a boy.Every time they pass a Mustang, one of the boys claims it. Nick very much wants a job so he can start saving money for a Mustang.
The kids have had swimming lessons the last two weeks, which gives me peace of mind. Andrew could barely do the doggie paddle last year but now he'll confidently dive in and get where he needs to go using regular strokes. Language has not been an issue for them with swimming lessons even though it's all English.
We've had a few more behaviour issues with the kids, lying for example, but we nip it in the bud even if that means dragging them out of bed to talk to them about it at 11:00 at night. It's better to draw the line right away than let them grow accustomed to fibbing and then have to deal with bigger issues. At least that is our hope as we try to help them overcome this issue. Other issues have cropped up again so for instance, all the computers have nanny software installed, but that's part of suddenly adopting a kid you didn't raise and whose family didn't seem to raise them either.
On the bright side, the other night we left them home for a couple hours and they heated up their own dinner, cleaned up, and went to bed by 9:00. We came home to a clean kitchen and sleeping children at 9:30.
Another advatage we have is comon faith. After a particulary bad series of infractions, we drove the kids up to a Ukrainian priest for confession. They were kind of quiet in the car on the way up. He was wonderful with them and even has an aunt who lives near their home town.They all thanked us afterwards and we went home happy. We're going back in another week or so to help build the relationship.
As they learn English, they are opening up more and more about their pasts and it's scary. All three have endured lots of stress and trauma . It's no wonder they lie reflexively. What really is a wonder is that they are as sweet and loving as they are. They understand that we've been through a lot too, and it seems to help us build bridges. All of them have a special place in their hearts for their littlest sister in heaven.
Our kids have deep scars from their past and a huge challenges in their new lives, but childhood itself protects them from realizing some of that and they are happy most days. We're glad to nuture their playfulness and let them feel that home is a safe place where you can be a kid, but also safe because there are firm limits and high enough expectations so they can make much needed progress while they heal.
I have been following your blog for a while now, and I for one am glad you are blogging through the issues and giving follow up on how things are progressing. My husband and I are adopting from Ukraine and possibly leaving next month sometime. I appreciate it when people don't just blog on the good days or focus mainly on the fluffy stuff of adoption. Adoption is a challenge and I think it's important that people not only know the challenges, but also the solutions that have worked for other children and families. Bless you and your family!
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