Monday, May 14, 2012

Someone who works for a producer for a tv show called Super Nanny approached us in Walmart last week. After introducing herself and getting a bare bones idea of what our family is like, she asked us if we'd be interested in being on the show. She thought we'd be a perfect fit.

I said we might be interested because I was thinking of it as a way to raise awareness for two of my favorite causes: childhood cancer research and adoption, but when we got home and saw clips of the show online, we realized maybe it wasn't a compliment to be a perfect fit for Super Nanny.

At first, we thought our family is too happy and well adjusted. They'd film me baking homemade bread and the kids cheerfully making their beds each morning. A nice scene could be Nicholas flying through his math on the computer while Nadia practices reading in English and Andrew teaches the dog tricks. The nanny might take notes on how we purposefully teach etiquette and role play good manners. She'd nod her head as the kids do their chores and schoolwork. Seeing the way they share, play and work together might warm her jaded heart, but hearing Andrew express his love for his sweet sister Mary Evelyn in heaven might make it grow two sizes that day. She'd wipe tears from her eyes after seeing Mark have the kids read during Bible story time. Our sweet evening prayer time and how our whole family hugs each other goodnight before bed might inspire her ask us to teach her!

Then we thought about other things and the power of editing. What if they came and filmed just last Friday? There was Andrew, playing outside and thoughtlessly deciding to pee in the backyard, in full view of the hotel behind out house. I was so upset I screeched out his full name, Andrew Alexander King! and reminded him that we have three bathrooms. That could be ugly on camera, especially if they did a close up of my frazzled face, repeated it six times and neglected to show me giggling with him minutes later. Then there's Mark, making the kids do academic activities while teasingly making crack the whip noises. They could focus on Nadia sulking because I will not buy her four inch platform heels and Nicholas fibbing about things I'd rather not even mention.

It's hard to bear such scrutiny of anyone's life. Ouch. You try to do the best you can, but there are always those moments that you'd rather not share with the whole country. No wonder there is a prayer to say sorry to your guardian angel for ways you've offended them each day.....

I thought it might be a fun life experience, but it could also be very harmful to our family so when the producer called on Mother's Day, I declined.

Later I went to the cemetery and sat in the dusky rain, missing my baby girl. I told her all my sorrows and as I grew quiet, I thought about how our kids, with all their quirks and challenges, are a good match for us. I have opportunities to work on my own faults and refine my own life, with God's grace, as I try to help the kids. Maybe I can see enough of those faults for now without the nanny broadcasting them. Maybe we are perfect fit, for each other not for the show.

I arrived home to an impromptu Mother's Day celebration. They'd gotten flowers,a balloon, a sweet card and a chocolate cake. The kids lined up and sang to me. They were so excited about celebrating together it almost made me cry again.

It was sweet to have cake with my family in my happy home, and all the more special when I realized that we met Andrew one year ago to the day.

Mother's Day was bittersweet. It's hard to miss some and celebrate with others, but I know my kids are in the same boat, missing their biological moms but celebrating with me and that helps me focus on the sweet, not the bitter,for their sake.













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