Thankful for My Good, Sweet Family

Nadia read a little note she wrote for us on Thanksgiving and it was basically that she is thankful for her good sweet family. She is eager to write Christmas cards to express her love for everyone. It’s hard to believe she is the same girl who was so defensive and unhappy just months ago. Uncle Ray has voted her “most improved”.

 

Nick is also happy and advancing in every way. He is getting all A’s. B’s and C’s in school without modification of the curriculum, at least without much modification which is extraordinary considering he’s doing eight grade now after coming to a new country, learning a new language, adjusting to a new family and he’s skipped 6^th and 7^thgrade. We’re hoping he soon starts to grow more physically more, but he’s happy. He’s the sunshine of the house most days.

Sometimes the other kids can be heard to say “I kill you later”, in an ominous sounding Eastern European accent, because they may not appreciate how easily Nick learns and how craftily he can outwit them, but he takes it all in stride and we have no favorites. We’re working on not giving so many death threats to family members.

The kids are better about lying. We had one dramatic weekend of very big and damaging lies, but discovered that part of it was that they will tell you whatever they think you want to hear, even if it’s bad because they are so fragile; just by accusing them of something they can break a little and confess to things they didn’t do, well, at least one of ours can but he shall remain nameless. So if you ask Nick did you buy pot from a stranger and he says yes, it doesn’t mean a thing because really there was no pot, there was no stranger. The mysteriously missing  money went to buy chips for his friends at school and he just thought that since we didn’t believe the truth, he’d better pull an Anne of Green Gables, confess to stealing Marilla’s locket, and get the punishment over with. (The cafeteria had the records to prove he bought chips and the drug test was also clear so why he said yes and provided details, oh my- it was some excitement!) That was a while back and he’s been fine ever since.

Andrew is still adorable, sweet and cute, but maybe a little less so since he’s been having a hard time remembering things he’s supposed to do or perhaps avoiding his responsibilities, seems at times to resent Nick, and has his own struggles to deal with. It’s been tougher in school for him, but we hope that working with his teacher we can help Andrew get back on the right track. Physically, Andrew is growing rapidly and is at the stage when he doesn’t know his own strength- and he’s strong.

Both of the boys have had to deal with temptations online. I guess most boys do in this world, but ours struggle at younger ages because they were exposed to bad things back in Ukraine. We don’t know what all they’ve been exposed to, but some of the things in their pasts are shocking.  I’m only sharing this because when you adopt old kids who look angelic, it’s easy to have false expectations.  Our kids are angelic in their ways, but like any kid who’s been neglected and abused, they’ve walked a dark path and need healing and help with icky things.

Our church took the teen group to visit a monastery in South Carolina. Nick and Nadia both said they didn’t want to go, but I made them go anyway. They ended up loving it.  They both loved the nuns, the garden, the goats, and being at the monastery chapel even though the church service was in Greek and they spent most of the day pulling thorny weeds with insufficient gloves. They both came back with more peaceful, loving spirits.

I have a chore chart for the kids and each day they do about 15-20 minutes of household chores. I almost never have to go behind and fix things and they are eager to help. I have been too lax on teaching Reading to them. The school only does so much, they need lots of help at home and need to develop study skills as well. They all have good grades!

The kids are excited about Christmas, but the older kids are a little sad about their biological family and the hard memories they have of cold, hungry, angry Christmases in the past. Each of us has the freedom to cry a little when needed, because naturally we have painful memories of sweet, happy Christmases with our daughter who we miss so much and that makes us sad, too.

Nadia and Nick have tried to call their family back in Ukraine but somehow the phone disconnects every time they say Hi this is Ruslan/Nadia, so they call the teachers at the orphanage who are always happy to hear from them. They plan to call and talk to some of the kids, too.

For some crazy reason, Nick and Andrew told someone to tell Edjick and Sasha to study hard, learn English and that good things may come to them and they’ll have a great life. Of course, Edjick wanted to call us after that and may have a false impression. We cannot go back for him, can you? Just putting it out there, he’s maybe diligently studying, is available and is cute…..

And don’t let this update scare you, well, maybe a little, but really they are great kids.