Rainy Days

It's cold and rainy today and that adds to the discouragement we feel. So far, there are no good matches for us for next week. We are approved for 1,2 or3 healthy children ages 6-10 and there are very few available. We thought we could add on special needs to increase our possibilities,  but that would take many more weeks and our appointment is next week so it's not possible. We can possibly adopt older kids, up to age 12, but that is another kind of challenge and sometimes the kids don't want to be adopted when they are older. The first group of three redheads are being adopted by a family from Italy. I don't know what has happened with the second group we visited, but they were not a good fit for us.
  
We may have messed it up by not following through with the first redheaded kids but now  the situation is in God's hands and we must move forward without pointless regrets. We have five more days of waiting until our appointment. At our appointment we will either pick one last group or child to visit, or if there is no match, we'll plan to come home.

We are grateful for everyone's prayers and help. Redcat is getting spoiled between Savannah's visits and Cindy slipping him bacon on the side. Hope is enjoying a long doggie playdate  both at Uncle Ray's and at the Creighton's.  Our translators here are very kind and helpful. They even helped me get my hair cut and colored. I was a little apprehensive because the mullet appears to be popular and many women have various shades of comic-book red hair, but I needed some freshening up and they both have pretty hair so we asked them to recommend a salon. Svetta took us to her salon and translated what I wanted. They said, " we do it differently in Ukraine" and I thought oh! But I trusted them and my hair looks great! We have enjoyed getting to know our translators and also other parents who are adopting. The friends we've made here, the kindness of everyone back home and the opportunity to spend time praying at the local churches have all been great blessings, but the stress of the experience has been tough.

Last night we watched something on Netflix about Stress. It said that mothers who care for chronically ill children age 6years for every year their child is ill. No wonder I needed to get my hair done, I must be an old hag by now according to them! I think they are exaggerating and maybe it's different with each mom.  Both times Mary Evelyn was ill there was a lot of stress, but we tried to find joy everywhere it was hiding. I remember how my heart just ached last year and the fear and sadness about losing her was a daily experience, but I giggled with her every day too. Now it's a different sadness, a sadness about loss and my loneliness from missing her. I guess my grief is more selfish and although I need to walk through it and I'll always miss my girl, I don't want to be trapped in grief forever. The stress of not having a match is hard in its own way by causing another worry, possibly a new loss and another grief. 
 
This rainy spring weather is not keeping me at the apartment today. I'm determined to go shopping. I need a spare sweater. I've worn my black sweater almost every day since we arrived and it's no longer my favorite.  Taking a walk, even in the rain, stopping in at a cafe, checking out wild eyed conspiracy theories about Bin Laden (apparently he's been frozen for years and was thawed just to provide Obama a poll bump)  and reading will help us have a good day. It is a blessing to be together anyway.

Maybe we'll have some surprising new adventure or get some great news soon!