Waiting and Wondering

Adoption blogs seem to be about waiting a lot and ours is no exception. We can't cut in line to go to Ukraine earlier in December so will wait until sometime in January and miss the Big Tax Credit.

We also found out that Nadia and Ruslan are visitng their sister and extended family for a couple weeks at Christmas so they won't be ready to leave until mid January.

We wondered if they really understand what adoption is, how far away America is and what their family might be thinking about it all.

We asked Luda to ask Nadia a few important questions the next time she gets the opportunity- everyo so often Nadia getrs access to a cell phone and calls Luda to see if she knows when we are coming!

This extra time and our questions about them spending time with their family gave us reason to to reevaluate our decision. Am I really up to this (Edna)? Are we taking them away from their family? Can we afford this?

After praying, crying, complaining (me, not Mark) and having long conversations on the phone and in person with various friends and relatives, I guess the answer is there are no guarantees in life and when you ask God for clear cut direction, the answer is often still anything but clear.

Great gain always carries great risk.

Nadia and Ruslan have been in the orphanage for at least four years and their family has no legal right to take them home. The kids asked us to adopt them, and we believe they did so out of a heartfelt longing to be part of our family. What they wrote in their notes last summer was all about loving us and wanting a mom and dad, a family, not about getting to live in America.

A year from now, Nadia's life will be much better if she is safe in my home instead of getting ready to leave the orphanage with an eight grade education.

A year from now, Ruslan will be in a more secure place in our home rather than staying where he is.

I am a grieving mom, but also a loving mom who understands loss. Mark and I can empathize with Nadia and Ruslan and maybe we can help each other heal.

We believe that God will give us the grace to cope with the challenges and so are moving forward, in prayer.

We've applied with Lifesong for an interest free loan and are applying to Promise 686 again for matching grant funds.

Thanks for your continued prayers.