Mark, Andrew and I will be travelling to Ukraine on January 15th. Mark and Andrew will go with me for the first five-seven days and then either we’ll all come home or I’ll stay on in Kovel for the next few weeks by myself at the clean and pleasant hotel with the loud nightlife. The adoption has of course in the works for months, but the reality is hitting home in new ways now and I’m glad to say I’m surprisingly less nervous than I expected to be.

I’m dreading that final push to clean out Mary Evelyn’s closet a little more, I’m a bit on edge about the possibility of messing up the happy family we have with just Andrew at home by adding two somewhat unknowns, but mostly I’m looking forward to this new chapter, new adventure and new chance to give amazing opportunities to two children who have spent a non-childhood in multiple orphanages.

It’s a different challenge to bond with teens, but we already have some experience with it. When Mark and I had been married for a few months, he adopted my biological son Thomas who was 15. Thomas and Mark were like peas and carrots for the next few years. I remember how excited Thomas was about having a father for the first time in his life. Just because your parent is alive doesn’t mean they are able or perhaps willing to be a real parent to you. The teenage years are so tumultuous that having a parent who loves you and will take the time to walk through those ups and downs with you is a great gift.

Bonding with kids who are from a different culture, speak another language and have suffered severe neglect (and who knows what else) will be a greater challenge than bonding with a child from a loving home who simply needed one more parent. There are many things we simply don’t know about their lives and birth family, and I imagine they will need lots of love.

I’m considering home schooling the older two to give them more time in a parent-child relationship and to hopefully move forward academically as quickly as possible. Fayette County Schools have been very good for Andrew and Mary Evelyn. I was impressed by the way Mary Evelyn’s needs were always addressed in pro-active and loving ways. She was hearing impaired and received lots of extra help for that from the first day of kindergarten. Once her cancer was back, the school did everything possible to support our family. Andrew has had a similarly supportive and loving environment at his school, as appropriate for his needs. These positive experiences give me confidence that if homeschooling is not right for us, we have a great back up plan in sending them to public school.

If any of you have resources to suggest or know of someone who has adopted older kids, I’d love to hear your advice.

Our translator said that the kids told her they just couldn’t wait any longer.I’m glad they don’t have to. Hopefully, I’ll be back with them by Valentine's Day